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A cute LOVE story:


LOLO and LOLA ngsabot i`recall ang ilang
1st miting yrs ago 2 make it yesterday once more..

Lolo waited in d river

Babyselosa wrote:A cute LOVE story:


LOLO and LOLA ngsabot i`recall ang ilang
1st miting yrs ago 2 make it yesterday once more..

Lolo waited in d river

pwede duklon c lolo ug lola?!

bwahahhahahahha

Here are some Funny And Corny Jokes (bisaya):

Amerikano: Hi, young lady!
Girl: Hayang? OK.
Amerikano: Wha' happened?
Girl: Aa, wai hapin-hapin!


Anak: Tay unsay English sa otot?
Tatay: Wind of Change
Anak: Ug Otot nga wa tingog?
Tatay: Sound of Silence
Anak: Ug Otot nga dalang *** tay?
Tatay: Dust in the wind
Anak: Pag ka bright dyod ning tatay, Liwat dyod ko nimo!


Lola Gihold up..
Lola: wa ko'y kwarta!
Holdaper: Naa! kahibalo ko asa nimo gbutang!
(Gikuot sa holdaper ang iyang bra)
Lola: Doy padayon, naa pa cheke sa ubos!


Lola: oh apo, asa man mo?cge ra ka ug laruy-laroy dah.
Apo: Lola, sagdi lang gud. La, ad2 sa mi sa tipar..
Lola:unsa manang tipar?
Apo: Lola.party na cya.
Lola: puro mga salitang kalye.mga paking**** kaU!


Boy: papalita rako ug condom dai.. kai e gift nako sa akong uyab kay valentines man. Smile
Saleslady: puston sir?
Boy: ayaw day kay mao nay akong iputos sa akong gift


MAGNag-Uyab:

BF: luv, lami kaayo imong boobs! patutuya ko be. Twisted Evil
GF: ulaw man ko. Rolling Eyes
BF: sige na! Surprised
GF: lisud, ga bra ko! Mad
BF: Ayyy.... Sad
GF: gusto ka tila na lang, wa man ko panty Rolling Eyes


Anak: Nay, taga-e ko piso bi. Rolling Eyes
Nanay: unsaon man nimo! Mad
Anak: palit ko tambal padako sa akong oten. Laughing
Nanay: diay dos pesos, apili imo tatay


Tulo Ka Madre
Madre 1 : Ang lami sa otin mubo dako. Surprised
Madre 2 : Mas lami ang niwang pero ta-as. Smile
Madre 3 : Mas lami gyud Ta-as nga dako
Superyora : mga GaGA! ang importante GAHI


Usa ka dalaga ug madre nagpa urine pregnancy test
nagka-ilis ang ilang sample for test, the next day for the result
dalaga: it's negative result
doctor: sister ang resulta sa imong test ay positive, mabdos ka
madre: haaa...................makamabdos ba diay ang kandila

> Lufthansa - Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from
> the captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we
> have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the
> ocean" The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation
> but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
> "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency
> and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the
> non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers
> are on
> the right side of the plane" After this announcement all
> the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's
> request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.
> The captain once again made an annoucement:"Ladies and Gentlemen we
> have crashed into the ocean.All of the swimmers on the right side of
> the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the
> plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane...
> ---THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA- "
>
> -------------------------------------------------------
> British Airways
>
> "This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like
> to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to
> London.
> We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
> Atlantic." "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the
> aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on
> fire.
> If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that
> the
> port wing has fallen off."
> "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow
> life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your
> captain, the co-pilot, and one of the airstewardesses. This is a
> recorded message."
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Air France -
> There once was a flight heading from London to NewYork. Halfway during
> the flight, the captain suddenly comes over the intercom
> system..."This is Captain Jean-Pierre Lalonde speaking. I have a bit of
> bad news for you. We have lost our first left engine, but never fear,
> we can still make it using only three engines. But because of the loss
> of power, we will be two hours late."Time goes on, and once again the PA
> system crackles to life..."This is again your Captain. We have lost an
> engine on our starboard wing. But rest assured that our plane can fly
> using only two engines. Due to the reduced power, we will now be four
> hours late." The flight goes on, when the passengers hear the no
> familiar sound of the address system... "Guess what, folks! We lost
> another engine, but nothing to fear. We can still make it using only
> one engine. But now we will be six hours late. "On hearing
> this, an elderly lady turned to the person sitting
> next to her, and said:"I hope we don't lose ANOTHER engine. I'll be late
> for my connecting flight from New York!"
>
> -------------------------------------------
> Philippine Airlines -
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, Mabuhay!, this is your Captain Biglang-awa
> speaking, We are now over the Philippine trench where you can find the
> deepest part of the Pacific ocean. Here you can also find almost all the
> ferocious creatures in the sea, there's the killer sharks, barracudas
> and many others. And now for the finale, please, stay calm and don't panic
> for both our engines are dead and we are now going down into that ocean.
> Please wear your life vest. We are going to crashland this plane into
> the water. In the meantime, I would like you to follow everything I'm
> going to say, repeat
> after me:
> "Our Father Who are in Heaven.........."

hehehehe... comment naman kayo sa mga jokes... weee

> > >> >A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart.
> > >> >
> > >> >An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task
> > of hiring an
> > >> >individual to fill a job opening. After sorting
> > through a stack
> > >> >of resumes he found four people who were equally
> > qualified --
> > >> >an American, a Russian, an Australian and a
> > Filipino.
> > >> >
> > >> >He decided to call the four in and ask them only
> > one question.
> > >> >Their answer would determine who of them would
> > get the job.
> > >> >
> > >> >The day came and as the four sat around the
> > conference room table
> > >> >the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest
> > thing you know?"
> > >> >Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just
> > pops into your
> > >> >head. There's no warning that it's on the way;
> > it's just there.
> > >> >A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
> > >> >
> > >> >"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
> > >> >
> > >> >"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the
> > Russian.
> > >> >
> > >> >"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes
> > and you don't
> > >> >know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the
> > fastest thing I know."
> > >> >
> > >> >"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of
> > an eye, that's
> > >> >a very popular cliché for speed."
> > >> >
> > >> >He then turned to George, the Australian who was
> > contemplating
> > >> >his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you
> > step out of the
> > >> >house and on the wall there's a light switch.
> > When you flip that
> > >> >switch, way out across the pasture the light in
> > the barn comes
> > >> >on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing
> > I can think of."
> > >> >
> > >> >The interviewer was very impressed with the
> > third answer and
> > >> >thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat
> > the speed of
> > >> >light" he said.
> > >> >
> > >> >Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth
> > and final man,
> > >> >the interviewer posed the same question.
> > Eleuterio replied,
> > >> >"Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's
> > obyus to me dat
> > >> >the fastest thing is Diarrhea."
> > >> >
> > >> >"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the
> > response. The others
> > >> >were already giggling in their seats...
> > >> >
> > >> >"Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You
> > see, sir, da ader
> > >> >day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so
> > fast to the CR, but
> > >> >before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE
> > LIGHT, 'tang ina, sir,
> > >> >I had alreydi shit in my pants!"
> > >> >
> > >> >Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.

sari saring JOKES!!

Sa Math Class...

Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hinati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING na po! GINILING!!!


SA BAKERY
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba, sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?


ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!!


Honeymoon...
BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.
GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Di ba dati may alaga kang ahas?
BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!


BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali! Lagi nalang ako mali!!! Di 'nyo na ako mahal!
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak?
BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!!


Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!


BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!



(Sa loob ng Mall)
GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.
Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman!
GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since...

graaaaaaaaaaaaaavvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh ni c Lord_Arjay

murah ko buang sige katawa vah....



cge pah daw be....

jokes pah daw dha veh...

hahhahahahahaha

whew!

Here's another batch of Jokes... weee..
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Isa ka ulitawo ang nabuang ug gidala sa Mental hospital diha sa Bajada. Gakatawa ug ga hagikgik siya nga way undang. Syempre bag-ong sulod sa hosspital gi-interbyu siya sa Doktor.

"Reny ang ngalan doktor. Adunahan among pamilya. Ang tinuod aduna koy kaluha. hapit wala walay kalainan among nawong. tungod lagi ani pati sa eskwelahan kon duna mi test sya ang ga test para nako.

Galingu-lingo ang Doktor. Sa iying hunahuna murag dili man buang ang ulitawo.

"kas-a gani doktor, nakigsinumbagay siya sa usa ka dapit ug ako ang gikulong. Ang dili nako makalimtan kay aduna koy gelpren nga gihigugma gayud nako, ang nahitabo siya ang nag-tanan sa akong gelpren, kay abi sa akong gelpren siya ako."


"Ngano man nga murag lipay man kaayo ka karon Reny? Ang pangutana sa doktor."

"hahahahahahha, lipay ko doktor kay sa niaging semana nakabalus nako, namatay ko ug siya ang gilubong! hahahahahahahahahaha!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isang matamis na salamat eh solve na... weee...

Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!

GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.

Girl:WhoEver cAn UseD tHe WoRds LiveR aNd chEeSe wiTh sTyLe wiLL bE my dAtE ToNighT
MaCho:StEak tHaT LiveR anD mElT thAt chEeSe On mE.
GwApO:I hAtE LiveR bUt I LuV chEeSe as i LuV U.
BiSaYa:hey! YoU TwO! LiveR aLoNe! chEeSe MinE!


Nurse:Naa pa ba sa imong huna-huna ang pamilya nimo?
Buang:Oo, naman! Syempre!
Nurse:asa man ang pamilya nimo ron?
Buang:Nasa akong huna-huna lagi! Sige balik-balik!

candzy_angel wrote:Girl:WhoEver cAn UseD tHe WoRds LiveR aNd chEeSe wiTh sTyLe wiLL bE my dAtE ToNighT
MaCho:StEak tHaT LiveR anD mElT thAt chEeSe On mE.
GwApO:I hAtE LiveR bUt I LuV chEeSe as i LuV U.
BiSaYa:hey! YoU TwO! LiveR aLoNe! chEeSe MinE!


Nurse:Naa pa ba sa imong huna-huna ang pamilya nimo?
Buang:Oo, naman! Syempre!
Nurse:asa man ang pamilya nimo ron?
Buang:Nasa akong huna-huna lagi! Sige balik-balik!

hahaha.... looollzzzz....

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kani akoa, siyaro dili mukatawa... hehehehe...

================================================

Ang Lansones

May tatlong hunters, si Pedro, si Juan, at si Jose na nahuli ng mga
cannibals sa gubat. Dinala sila sa harap ng tribal Chief para siya ang
pupugot ng ulo nila. Nagmakaawa yung mga hunters. Naawa naman
yung chief.
Chief: Sige hindi namin kayo papatayin, sa isang kondisyon. Kailangan
isa-isa kayong mangolekta ng sampung pirasong prutas.
Dalhin nyo iyon dito at saka ko sasabihin ang sunod nyong
gagawin.
Naghiwa-hiwalay ang tatlong magkakaibigan. Unang dumating si Pedro,
dala-dala'y 10 oranges.
Chief: Ngayon, ipasok mo ang lahat ng mga prutas na iyan sa iyong
puwet.
Kailangan ay hindi magbabago ang mukha mo. Konting ngiwi o
ngiti mo lang ay pupugutan ka namin kaagad ng ulo.
Unang orange pa lang ang pinapasok ay napa-sigaw agad si Pedro. Agad
siyang pinugutan ng ulo.
Sunod na dumating ay si Juan, dala-dala'y 10 lansones. Tuwang-tuwa siya
ng in-explain sa kanya noong Chief kung ano ang kailangan nyang gawin.
Juan: Sus! Sisiw lang pala. Kayang-kaya! Buti na lang maliit na
prutas ang kino-lekta ko.
Naipasok ni Juan ang siyam na lansones sa kanyang puwit ng walang
problema. Ngunit sa pang-sampu, bigla siyang napatawa. Pugot ulo
kaagad si Chief.
Pagkamatay ay napunta agad si Juan sa langit kung saan nakita niya si
Pedro. Nagkausap ang dalawa.
Pedro: Sayang, Juan! Pinapanood kita dito sa langit habang ginagawa mo
yung utos. Isang lansones na lang hindi mo pa tiniis!
Buhay ka pa sana ngayon. Ano bang nangyari sa iyo?
Juan: Pare, ang dali-dali ngang ipasok noong mga lansones. Kaso, noong matatapos na ako bigla kong nakita si Pareng Jose may dala-dalang 10 langka! Napatawa ako.

sUzEttE wrote:3 KA HAMBUGERONG MAG-AMIGO

-2 ka amigo ni PABLO, cna juan og pedro, nisuroy sa iyang dapit..human niya'g sundo sa airport nagplanong magcape ang 3...og sa ilang pag-inistoryahay ...-

PEDRO: kabalo ba ka sa among dapit kung magtukod og building ang among engineers tapos kanang building pa jud na naay napu ka floors wa lay tuig humana!

JUAN: nah! mao ra nay gipanghambog nimo pedro?? wa ra na sa amo! kinse ka floors...3 ra na kabulan humana!

PEDRO: ikaw PABLO kumustah man ang mga engineers dinhi??

JUAN: bitaw PABLO...


c PABLO naghuna huna....

PABLO: kita mo anang buildinga na? ( og gitudlo ang building na natungod sa ilang gipangapehan) naay lang nay tulo ka floors pero dako noh? ( sabay taas ang 2 ka kilay og ngising hinambog) kagina pag-agi nako dinhi wala pa karon naa na!!!!!!




"ako: uieeee ningisi xaaaaa...salamat sa pagngisi..bahalag la nikatawa basta oke na na sa ako imong matam-is na pahiyom.... ;) ;) ;) "

maninuod man ka`g jokes babez...

ehhehehe

INAY: ikaw na bata ka! nagpunta ka nga ba sa gay bar?!



ANAK: OPO!


INAY: ano ang nakita mo dun na di mo dapat nakita?!






ANAK: si ITAY po... ang landi landi! Tumitili pa!



hahahaha...

Vocabulary ni Pacquiao...Must read!

tactics - ito ang tunog ng orasan

payt - ito ay laban

taytol - pamagat ito ng laban

jenkeh - asawa ko to!

nu peer - sponsor ko ito

motor kid - ikot ko sa manila

chek in - peburit ko sa mcdo

corrupt - pagsara ng mata

mura less - natalo kong mexicano

wit - i'm 130 lbs

wawawe - my peburit show

noodle noodle - sagot ko sa deal or no deal

duet - gawin mo!

quotes - niknem ni preddie roach


hahahahaha...